We bought the kettle together

Granola, "Frances Ha" and living single

A still from Frances Ha I got from a Google search

I quote a lot of lines from “Frances Ha” but there was one in particular I found myself repeating more than usual as Jayne and I prepared to sell our apartment and live on our own for the first time.

To set the scene: Sophie has moved to her dream apartment in Tribeca and left Frances alone in the one they used to share. It’s partially furnished and Frances is boiling water in a saucepan on the stove. She reaches for the handle and it burns her. Irritated and wanting to blame her best friend for her dumb mistake, she calls Sophie and yells, “We bought the tea kettle together! Remember? At the Mexican superstore! Jesus! Bring it back! Or buy me another kettle!” 

So much of “Frances Ha” feels like a highly cinematic and highly idealized version of my life (down to the part where Frances, homeless, moves back in with her parents for a bit). Ultimately, it’s a story of two best friends who are trying to make their way in the world and need to live separate lives to find their independence, only to come back together in the end after they’ve become better versions of themselves. 

As Jayne and I were packing, we repeated the tea kettle line every time we couldn’t remember who bought what thing and, therefore, could take it with her to the new place. Dividing our assets felt like a divorce. So many of our possessions were intertwined, the ones that were co-owned or inherited, it became a negotiation of who would get to take what. 

I also realized how many things I didn’t own because Jayne had bought them. Now I needed to buy a set of dishes, silverware, a dining room table. I on the other hand owned most of the kitchen appliances – the blender, rice cooker, stand mixer. Moving itself would be expensive enough and it was frustrating to think I needed to add “set of plates” on top of the amount I was spending on a down payment and everything that went with it. I felt Frances’ frustration. I’m not only no longer living with my best friend, but I’m also without the things we shared. “Bring it back!” wasn’t just about the kettle, it was about returning to the way things were. 

Jayne and I also shared cooking responsibilities. As any great team, we played to our skillset. While I honed my baking skills, Jayne perfected her recipe for granola. We went through batches weekly. We took it with us on vacations. You wouldn’t be able to find a better granola anywhere else, so you should always bring some with you wherever you go.

You can eat bowls of it and never have too much. Most granolas are too sweet, almost like crumpled up oatmeal raisin cookies. Other granolas are too oat-y, not clumpy enough, too soft. And don’t get me started on ones with dried fruit in them. This granola isn’t any of those things. It’s chock-full of nuts and seeds – including her trademark fennel seed that really adds a nice earthy warmth. It’s full of texture and crunch and just enough seasoning that it’s not overpowering. It’s fantastic for snacking, just popping a cluster or two (or twenty) when the mood strikes. 

There’s one more key ingredient to a perfect bowl of Jayne’s granola: adding corn flakes along with your sliced banana and yogurt or cottage cheese. Not just any cornflakes will do – only Nature’s Path Honey’d Cornflakes. If they don’t have the honey flavor, the fruit juice one will suffice. With a sweet corn flavor, they are an ideal ingredient to balance out your breakfast; most importantly, they can withstand a drenching of milk and not disintegrate. 

To me, Jayne’s granola was engineered to perfection, so why would I try and invent something better? Now that Jayne and I live separately, I started making my own granola based off of her recipe. But I’m also experimenting with my own combinations, too. Wheat germ, extra pecans, cumin seeds, poppy seeds – the possibilities are endless. 

Maybe perfection isn’t a zero sum game. You were happy with what you had, but change forces you to find something else. Just because one granola seems ideal, doesn’t mean another one can’t be equally as good. Sometimes you have to go searching for it on your own – leaving behind what you thought was already great – in order to find a different version that you love just as much.